it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
3 2 1 whiskey
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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