U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
