It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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