So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
