I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
