Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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