Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we made out on top of his cat.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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