Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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