we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
