I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
