I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
