I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
