what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
