I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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