Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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