Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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