Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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