Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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