I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
