i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
