It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
