He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can't motorboat a personality
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
