hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
