no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was like giving head to a cactus.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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