ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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