sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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