You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
