I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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