will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize