I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
