At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
