I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
