She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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