he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
