sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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