I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
