I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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