Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I love black thongs
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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