I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
