He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
