i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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