I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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