I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
