this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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