Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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