why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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