How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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