I smell stomach acid.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
