So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
