I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
