therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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