Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
