Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
