You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
