Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
