Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
