he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
